JULY 8, 2016
This Jon Foreman song is playing in my mind this morning…..
Inner peace is hard to find
Peace of heart and peace of mind
Feels like I'm running all the time
Like I'm at war inside
I've been fighting all my life
How can we be ourselves
If we don't know who we are
I can't blame myself on anyone else's time
I can't blame myself on anyone else's time
There's gotta be a reason for the pain
There's gotta be a reason why it rains when I'm alone
There's gotta be a reason why I'm longing for a justice
I ain't ever seen
A water that could make us clean, yeah
How can we be ourselves
If we don't know who we are
I can't blame myself on anyone else's time
I can't blame myself on anyone else's time
I can't blame myself on anyone else's time
The window of my soul is so unclean
Shattered by the vices and the violence that I've seen
Purity of heart is to will one thing
But I've got a lot on my mind
Yeah maybe I'm a mess inside
How can we be ourselves
If we don't know who we are
I'm looking for the one that made me
That made me
That made me
I'm looking for the One
That made me
That made me
-
What an emotional roller coaster. Amazing conference presentations with practical application knowledge and words to empower and encourage nurse practitioners in their role and status across the nation. As we grow in numbers and continue to produce great patient outcomes , it is time we quit settling at being the substitute or who the patients settle to see. We are primary care providers, acute care providers, pediatric primary care providers etc….ENCOURAGEMENT AND EMPOWERMENT.Then family time was next. Horseback riding in the mountains here in Keystone. It was an amazing experience for all 3 of us. These beautiful animals that God created just so carrying us on their backs through paths that are dusty, rocky, steep uphill and downhill and plateaus. We traveled through some beautiful scenery. I was truly at peace though conscious to follow rules as it was my first time on a horse alone. We followed this up with a relaxing dinner lakeside. Watching ducks after that. We enjoyed a nice after dinner hike to a portion of Snake River where the current was calm enough to stand in these icy waters. So Kyra and I did. It was cold and piercing yet cleansing and refreshing all at once. Then we come back to condo….social media which I had primarily been sharing picture of our experience …..and I read it….
Police officers shot in Dallas at a protest from shootings earlier this week in Baton Rouge and Minneapolis. I watched some of the scenes unfold until I could no longer watch. I read on social media cries of frustration, fear, anger, sorrow, ignorance, hate and people in dismay clinging onto hope. That is where I am – in dismay clinging onto the only hope I know, Christ Jesus.
“How can we be ourselves, when we don’t know who we are?” We do not know as a society who we are. We know what we are told by the media, the government, societal norms, the color of our skin all shades from the darkest to the lightest. We are told by our anemic education system who we are.
“I’M LOOKING FOR THE ONE THAT MADE ME”
This is where we start to find out who we are. The one who made us knows who we are and desires us to know it, because once we know we too will be empowered to stand up against evil and say enough. I REFUSE to vindicate my pain and grief with further violence. I will let the one who made me vindicate me. I will love all , even if they do not deserve it, because the ONE who made me loves them. The ONE who made me even loves me in those times I don’t deserve it. WHEN WE KNOW WHO WE ARE and WHO MADE US we will REFUSE to join the darkness , give in to the darkness, but instead BE THE LIGHT. The reason is the ONE that made me is LIGHT and we are made in his IMAGE. I believe deep down inside beyond the pain, fear , frustration, anger, grief lies two aspects of our humanness that have been fighting it out from the beginning of time- PRIDE and LOVE . We have to lay aside our wounded, even justified pride our sense of self anything and let LOVE win. ONLY then will we truly know who we are, because the ONE that made me and you is LOVE.
Before all of this I was captivated by majestic mountains, rushing rivers, blue skies, pleasant temperatures, and calm lake full of fish and ducks. I was amazed at this GLIMPSE of God’s glory. This morning in the wake of it all I sit looking out my window at those same mountains, lake and skies as I feel the crisp morning air come through the window and listen to birds singing and the river in the distance rushing at the pace its maker set for it. This is a glimpse of how it is supposed to be- the peace and beauty. This is a glimpse of the glory of the ONE who made us. GOD is still love.
His people are lost, hurting, wounded. They are filled with disbelief, anger, vengeance, fear and underneath that all I know somewhere is LOVE. Some of us have to fight to get to it more than others. I do not judge as I have not endured what they have. BUT we have to try to get to it, no matter what. Right now it is drowned out by pain and anguish. HATE is trying to drown out the love. BUT even in downtown Dallas where the latest tragedy unfolded last night, if you look hard enough you will see LOVE. You will find it in the way people tried to help one another in the midst of tragedy. You will see it as people comfort the grieving. You will see it as people worked tirelessly to care for the wounded. I pray this morning not only for Dallas, Baton Rouge and Minneapolis. I pray for our nation and I pray for mankind. I pray we will look for the one who made us. Then we will find out who we are and we can be ourselves. A people that loves despite the cost, that knows we are children of God – all of us and that we would love one another as Christ has loved us. I pray PRIDE and HATE will be drowned out by LOVE. DARKNESS will be overcome with LIGHT and HOPE will drown out fear.
Lord let the Hope drown out the fear
Let comfort meet the pain
Let the light drown out the dark
