Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the LORD.- Psalm 27:14
Waiting. This is a hard thing to do and it seems with our modern instant gratification culture, it has become even more difficult. I confess, I am naturally impatient. Those who know and love me will tell you it's true. I don't mean to be, but I am. The Lord is working on that, but I have far to go. I am always looking for the next adventure, task to perform, or thing to do so I can cross it off my checklist. It is not my nature to sit and be still.
I remember several years back when the Lord had me in a season that was pivotal in my faith journey that I kept hearing people all around me quoting that Bible verse. You know the one, " Be still and know that I am God." 'Okay I know that you are God', I thought. I have that down. Since I was a little girl I just knew there was a God in heaven and Jesus was his son and he died for me. John 3:16 was a seed planted in my heart years ago thanks to my Grandmother Arlene. However, this "Be Still" thing, what is that? How do I do it? I have heard of still, I may have even witnessed it. I just don't know how to be it. I cried out to the Lord and said, " LORD, help me be still!"
There had to be something about this still thing though. I mean all these people of faith were doing it and it is a command from God and that is enough. But wait a minute, still means quiet. I hated quiet. I always drowned quiet out with music, television, conversation, or even activity. You see if I were quiet then it was me and my thoughts and there were a whole lot of those I did not like. On the outside I was the glass half full , hopeless romantic, idealist. On the inside I was filled with self doubt, insecurity, guilt, shame, and if I am honest there was also some degree of self loathing. So I could not be left alone with those thoughts.
Guess what? He answered me. Despite my child like faith at an early age , I was not baptized until I was in my 30s. I will never forget the Sunday before my baptism, which incidentally I had no idea would take place one week later. I sat at my breakfast table. Everyone was asleep in my house. It was quiet.
That morning something was different about quiet. There was no whirring thoughts. There was no , 'I should have , could have , would haves.' There was no overwhelming desire to get up and clean, straighten up, wash anything. I just sat there quiet and still and what I felt was ineffable. Though I love words and dare to craft them together, believe me when I say there are no words that could describe the abundant peace and calmness that enveloped me in that stillness that morning. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.
After however many moments they were, (since I did not keep track, I was simply being and enjoying doing it) I wrote a poem that came out like a song called Make Me New.
Little did I know the Lord was working on that very thing already. He planned that moment , just like he did all the moments to come in the following week with my baptism. He would follow this up with a time of growth in my faith and closeness to Him. Looking back, I see his plan and marvel over it even more now than then.
So step one in waiting, is the ability to be still. If you are like me and struggle with this , ask God. He will answer generously. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.- James 1:5.
Now, I know many of you are thinking. Hey, most waiting stories are not so tidy or simple. This I know. I have many more waiting stories. I said being still was the first step. The Lord had to teach me this important baby step, so I could walk some harder steps in my faith journey.
So for now, ask yourself this, " Am I able to be still?" If no, then ask God for help. If yes, when was the last time you were? Take a moment to be still and see what he wants to whisper to your soul.
This makes all the difference when we are in seasons of waiting.
Be still, and know that I am God- Psalm 46:10
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